Self-Care for Parents

Article from The Waldorf School of Philadelphia

When people say “self-care,” an image can pop into many minds. Sitting crossed legged in meditation with a lavender candle or an early morning hike in a forest. But for most families who are practicing social distancing, there is no possibility of attaining an idyllic vision of self-care. So what does self-care really look for families across the country now tasked with managing distance learning, work and life stress in confined space? 

“Know that everyone is doing their best and that is all that can be done.”

It looks like…

Putting well-being before productivity

Whenever possible, set down a load. A literal load of laundry or an emotional load of a phone call from an anxious friend or family member. You don’t have to bring your best self to every task at hand. And asking for help with all these loads, even the ones you would normally handle without help, is essential. Set things down and simplify expectations for those helping. Set boundaries and ask the family to step outside their traditional roles to do new helpful things for one another.

Simplifying expectations 

Know that everyone is doing their best and that is all that can be done. Share and embody this sentiment…

For Schoolwork

As a Waldorf family, you have been given an amazing gift. When it comes to distance learning, your teachers truly know you!  They know your student and your family and they will carry this experience and knowledge to the next grade, which means they’ll know what your student was able to accomplish, or not accomplish, in the home setting through distance learning. When your students begin again next year, everyone will know what has been done, what needs attention, and what great developmental and learning milestones have been accomplished.

For One Another 

Your child, your family, your school, your teachers are all trying to do their very best in a difficult situation and everyone has a unique circumstance. Someone with a new baby or an ill parent or a newly defined “essential” job is going to bring different intention and energy to what they can do in these unique times. Let’s agree to approach these times with forgiveness and flexibility; simple expectations and love.

For Routines

Waldorf pedagogy rests upon routine. It is how we build security and confidence in children. Setting the day in a predictable manner, gives people the space and boundaries they need to feel secure and thrive. But rigidity in trying times could have the opposite effect. Flexibility will be necessary. So as you build new family routines, as you should, allow yourself and your family leeway in and around established ideals.

Unplugging and going outside

We all know the benefits of nature and reconnecting with seasons, cycles and simple beauty. Stepping away from the news, with intention, can allow us to recapture the small joys and beauty in our everyday worlds. Your children, especially Waldorf students, do this well. Let them lead you outside and away from your smartphone and laptop. Make breaks in your life to do what they know how to do well — play outside and be reverent outdoors for the leaf on the ground, the newly bloomed flower and the special-shaped clouds in the sky.

Practicing mindfulness

Mindfulness comes in many forms, including being in nature as mentioned above. It can come through stillness with a book of poetry or meditation practice. It can come through deep breathing in a harried moment. It can be a new practice of sharing gratitude around the dinner table or in a journal. It can even be that idyllic meditation with a lavender candle. No matter what it is, prioritizing making a little space each day for it, will go a long way towards greater well-being. 

Emergency COVID-19 Assistance Fund

Dear Sandpoint Waldorf School Parents,

The Board of Trustees recently met to discuss the potential hardships the COVID-19 pandemic is posing for our employees and families. Considering the possible loss of employment and/or the added expense of childcare with the closing of the school, the Board is offering an expedited Tuition Adjustment Program (TAP) process to all families, nursery through eighth grade. This offer will remain in effect for the duration of distance learning. Additionally, all contracted Extended Day charges will be ended as of March 16, 2020.

Along with the commitment to support our families during this unprecedented situation, the school remains committed to paying our employees and maintaining the campus for as long as we possibly can. Therefore, we ask that parents take these considerations to heart when deciding how much of an adjustment they will need and when they will need it.

The expedited process will include answering a few questions regarding your specific hardship, how much of an adjustment you expect you will need, and when you expect to need it. These questions can be answered by email or phone. The TAP committee will review your submission and attempt to respond within 24 hours of receiving your information. Please see the questions below.

Please trust that the school recognizes and appreciates the ordeal we are all facing at present. The teachers, administration, and Board have been working tirelessly to meet these challenges in creative and sustainable ways. As always, we are grateful for your support and understanding.

On Behalf of the Board,

Ann Neal
Director of Admissions
TAP Coordinator
 
Tuition Adjustment Questions

Please answer these questions in the body of an email (preferred) and send to aneal@sandpointwaldorf.org If email is not an option for you, call Ann Neal at 208.265.2683 (school) or 360.224.1426 (home). Thank you.

1. Please list your name and the names and grades of your children.

2. Are you presently receiving TAP?

3. What is your present tuition payment?

4. Please describe the hardship you are facing.

5. What is the amount of adjustment you feel you would need?

6. Is anything you would like to add?

This week's craft: Pom Poms!

This week’s craft idea is making pom poms. You can make any size of pom poms you like. To make mini pom poms, use a fork from the kitchen. To make different size pom poms, experiment with cardboard and your fingers.

Many, many fun things can be made with pom poms big and small!

String pom poms to make a necklace or garland, mini ice cream cones, imaginary critters or little animals like baby chicks or bunnies. Visit Pinterest and search pom pom crafts for endless ideas and inspiration.

Tips:
1. Make a very tight knot
2. One way to make a tight knot is to have someone else push the string down hard while you tie the knot.
3.  Use a surgical knot to tie the pom pom.  Instead of looping the string once like you normally do to tie a knot, loop it three times before pulling it tight.

Our love is best measured from six feet away

Written by SWS parent, Ammi Midstokke

I was heading to a friend’s house to go for a run — one of the few socially sanctioned outings we can still cling to without guilt. “Okay,” she said, “but I’ll meet you on the porch. We’re not letting anyone inside anymore.”

I am not anyone, I thought. Because I like to believe that I am always the exception to the rule. My feelings were hurt. Was I not in the Circle of Trust?

We were like best friends! I regularly expose my rear end to this human as I squat behind a tree. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t get more intimate than that. Now I was being excluded. I could be a cootie carrier. The rejection and shame were palpable.

The reality of epidemiology is that the rules of “innocent until proven guilty” are simply not applicable. By then, it’s too late. The fact that one owns and operates a human body means they could be carrying, unbeknownst and against best intentions, an infectious disease that we as a globe are combating. We can all be accidental lethal weapons these days, and wouldn’t we just feel awful if we were the demise of Nana?

I catch myself saying selfish things like, “We’re not an at-risk family,” when I try to calm the hysteria. But this is an embarrassment and makes me part of the problem. It’s not an Ammidemic. It’s a pandemic.

Being socially responsible does not make us socialists. Conversely, behaving as if we as individuals are exceptions to the rules, or as though our liberties are being infringed upon, makes us narcissists. As far as I can tell, that doesn’t get us an ICU bed any faster than anyone else.

On my way home, another friend called me, choking back tears. “I am not invited to my niece’s birthday party. I thought I was family.”

The emotional and mental impacts of this experience are unforeseen. We cannot confuse social distancing with rejection. When our families, our dearest friends, our colleagues — seemingly healthy or otherwise — set boundaries around their homes and activities, it’s not because we’re naive petri dishes. It’s not because we are personally seen as a threat or because we didn’t make the cut.

These are measures of love and accountability, doled out in six foot increments.

I hear my friends conditioning their carefully explained protocols with apologies. It’s because my mom’s health is fragile, or, We have a young baby. No personal explanation is necessary. Those of us who can social distance are doing it because it’s how each of us can contribute to the solution rather than exacerbate the problem.

If we are feeling excluded, or as though we’ve been marked with a scarlet letter, let’s reframe our thoughts and support each other in these efforts. They are ultimately born, not of fear, but of the best intentions to keep each other safe. When this all passes, we’ll be invited to Pictionary Night again.

In the mean time, let’s thank each other for setting boundaries, encourage them with understanding, and pick up the phone to remind our friends and family that they are dear to us, even from six feet away.